Finding A Reason To Live

The first step on my road to recovery was finding some reason, only one if necessary, to keep on living. My drinking was killing every aspect of my life; when I discovered that it was physically sending me towards the graveyard I guess I received my first God shot. My kidneys were shutting down and my liver was being damaged. Did my medical information keep me off the bottle for long? No. I avidly pursued revitalizing my health for six months, and then the obsession to drink returned and I fell. In a few short weeks my I bloated up and my innards began hurting again worse than ever. In other words, the elevator that was going down when I stepped off it 6 months prior had NOT ascended to meet me and continue down; I was on board at the bottom floor heading towards the basement where the cadavers are stored. The saying in AA is that "it gets worse never better." If you pick up and drink it as if you never stopped, and in my case my health worsened as if I had not stopped drinking in the first place. Such a strange disease. I know I was committing slow suicide, and I had to find one reason to live and hang on to that fragile idea.